


I will (never) let you down

by quinnfabs



Series: Friends first, lovers always [1]
Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe, Best Friends, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, M/M, kind of angsty but mostly fluffy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-13
Updated: 2015-05-13
Packaged: 2018-03-30 07:49:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3928798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quinnfabs/pseuds/quinnfabs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurt and Sebastian were destined to be best friends. They both want more, though. They just don't know how to get it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I will (never) let you down

Kurt and Sebastian have known each other their entire lives. Since day one, really.

Burt and Andrew, their fathers, had been best friends in high school. Once they both got married, with each other as the best man of course, their wives fell into easy friendship as well. They had someone to share recipes with and gossip with and read books with, it was, in all ways, a perfect set up.

When Claire, Andrew’s wife came home from work and uttered the word’s “I’m pregnant,” Andrew’s entire world view shifted; he thought he knew happiness, but the mere thought of being a father made him feel like he could run a marathon.

Claire told Elizabeth and Burt over dinner, Andrew’s smile gave away that something was up, and Elizabeth could never handle a secret. So when Claire exclaimed, “I’m having a baby!” the last thing she expected was for Elizabeth’s eyes to open wide and for her to shout, “Me too!”

Elizabeth had known she was pregnant for a few months now, but she never said anything to anyone other than Burt because she was extremely superstitious about these things. Hearing Claire say those words though, she couldn’t help herself. The four of them were nearly in tears by the end of the dinner. Everything was coming into place.

It was incredible going through pregnancy with your best friend. Burt and Andrew could jokingly complain about needy wives wanting ice cream at the worst possible moments, and later, talk about how _exciting_ and wonderful the mere thought of raising a child was.

Claire and Elizabeth would whine about how their bodies were changing, and whisper about how scared they were. At the same time, how _happy_ they were, how they never knew a baby that was still just in the early stages of growing inside them could make them feel this way.

When the babies were born, a few months apart, they were already planning play dates; buying toys and matching outfits.

So really, it was destined that Kurt and Sebastian would be best friends.

xxx

“I will always pick you,” Kurt thinks as Sebastian kisses him deeper, grips onto his waist tighter. “I don’t care who it is they’ll never live up to you” he thinks as Sebastian lays him against the pillows, starts to kiss his along his neck, soft and slow. 

He wants to cry with how gentle Sebastian’s being, how gentle he always is. He wants to tell Sebastian he loves him, loves being with him, but all he can do is moan with pleasure and force himself not to cry, the unshed tears pooling in his eyes as Sebastian starts to unbutton his shirt to kiss along his chest. 

“Baby, don’t cry.” Sebastian soothes, as he wipes the lone tear that managed to slip down. “This boy really did a number on you, huh?”

Kurt closes his eyes tightly, doesn’t let himself speak, doesn’t let himself say that he’s not crying over some _stupid boy,_ that he doesn’t care about anyone who isn’t Sebastian.

“Don’t worry, I’ll help you forget,” Sebastian whispers, kissing him, deep. And Kurt knows that he’s so, so fucked.

xxx

Rachel tells him that the relationship he has with Sebastian is deeply dysfunctional. Kurt knows.

He knows that it’s fucked up he’s in this weird friends-with-benefits situation with his best friend who he’s in love with. He knows he should stop, but he can’t. No matter how much he wants to say, “Maybe we shouldn’t, not tonight,” he can’t when Sebastian’s so beautiful, lean and strong, so glorious. The way he knows all the right things to say and do. He can’t say no, not when he’s so close, and it’s so _easy_ between them.

Admittedly, Kurt’s a serial dater. He dates tall boys, smart boys, funny boys, handsome boys. Like he’s somehow made it his life’s mission to date as many people as he possibly can, to collect as many awful first date stories as he can. Mostly, he does it because he hopes that if he dates enough boys he’ll either get over Sebastian or find someone who’s better than Sebastian.

He still hasn’t had any luck.

Every time he meets someone new, he’s already mentally comparing them to Sebastian. He hates that he does it, but it happens.

They’re never the right height, or the right amount of sarcastic. They never know what to do when he gets sick (he doesn’t want cuddles he just wants you to bring him soup and get the fuck out of his apartment. Sometimes cuddles, mostly soup) or understand exactly why he has to go home for Christmas (his family comes first, his father will always always always be the most important person in his life, Carole needs him, family comes first.)

Plus, it’s not even that _he_ compares them to Sebastian. The guys he dates do it too. It’s hard to avoid meeting Sebastian when they _live together._

It’s hard to ignore the way Sebastian swoops in after a long day of classes, hands Kurt tickets to a show he’s been wanting to see. It’s hard to ignore how _bright_ Kurt smiles when Sebastian walks through the door, how he lights up just at the sound of his voice. The guys eventually realize that they never really had a chance at all.

Kurt’s well aware of this. He tries so hard to be less obvious, but it seems like the only person who doesn’t know how in love with Sebastian he is, is Sebastian himself. Kurt has heard the words, “I don’t like the way you look at him,” far too many times for his own liking. Because he’d never want to be with someone who thinks that they would ever be able to take Sebastian away from him, they’d have to claw them apart, and even then it still wouldn’t work.

He hates that the guys realize they don’t stand a chance, because the guy he actually wants to be with would never give _him_ a chance. It’s as if, Kurt’s just meant to be a sideline in the whirlwind that is Sebastian’s life.

He hates that he can’t date Sebastian, because Sebastian doesn’t do dates and there’s _no fucking chance_ that Sebastian would make an exception for him. No matter how much he hopes.

xxx

Sebastian knows what everyone thinks of him. That he’ll hook up with any guy with legs long enough, with any guy desperate enough.

That’s not true though, not really. Sure, he prefers one night stands to actually going on dates like Kurt seems to. In his mind, he’s just cutting to the chase instead of wasting his time with guys that might end up being awful in bed, in life.

Past that one night though, he doesn’t really text back any of the guys he hooks up with. Sure, it’s fun. But, they’re not the ones that Sebastian _wants_ to go on dates with and cuddle with while watching Netflix with. He already does those things, with Kurt.

Sure, he hasn’t actually _informed_ Kurt of the fact that he’d like for them to go on dates and be a grossly in love couple, but it’s hard when Kurt keeps finding random guys out of the woodwork to go on dates with. Like, where does he even find a guy named _Tobias?_ And the British guy with the beanie, Adam? How the fuck is he supposed to compete with that?

The dates that Kurt goes on eventually fall through and he’s always there for him, whether it’s a slice of cheesecake, or a few kisses. Sebastian will do it all, gladly do it all. There’s a small part of him that kind of hates that he’s so whipped, that he can’t say no to Kurt. He can’t stand the thought of being the one to break his heart, to ever make him cry. So he goes along with what Kurt wants, and it helps that what Kurt wants is also what he wants.

Sure, he’d like a little more, he’d love to be introduced to Burt as the Boyfriend with a capital B, but. It doesn’t happen. Maybe he’s a coward for not wanting to say anything, not wanting to destroy the one _really_ bright and good thing, relationship, in his life. Mostly, he knows that he’s not enough for Kurt. 

Hooking up with random guys and hooking up with _Kurt_ are two very different things. They’re not just fucking for the sake of it (except sometimes they do and god, he loves every minute.) They’re not strangers, they _know_ each other. Kurt knows that Sebastian hates his grandfather, but pretends to like him because he doesn’t want to disappoint his parents. Kurt knows that Sebastian loves cotton candy and hates popcorn. Kurt knows everything about him that he’d be too afraid to share with anyone else. He’s opened himself up to Kurt in ways that he would never be able to with anything else, he embodies everything he could ever want in a boyfriend, in a partner.

But none of that matters, because he’ll never be enough for Kurt.

He’ll never be that guy who remembers anniversary dates or plans some huge party with doves and an ice sculpture and all that crap. He’ll never know which flowers are the right flowers to send.

He knows how to _love,_ he knows how to care about a person, but _any of those guys could learn,_ if they had enough time. If they spent enough time looking at Kurt, they’d know that he lights up after a cup of coffee. If they got to know him better, they’d know what to do when he gets sullen. They’d learn what his favorite movies were, and how to make the food that he likes.

But Sebastian, he can’t change who is, and he wouldn’t want to.

He hopes that he’s good enough for Kurt, but he knows that he’s not.

xxx

Kurt’s stretching for dance class when Blaine walks in. They’re kind of friends, they have a few classes together and Kurt has to admit, the guy is _adorable._ His bowties and wide hazel eyes, the way he _sings,_ it’s like magic.

Blaine’s blushing when he asks, “Do you want to go coffee with me?”

Kurt’s blushing right back when he replies, “I’d love to.” He has to give this a chance, he has to, because it’s _Blaine,_ the nicest guy in his class, the guy that complimented his voice 20 minutes after he met him, the guy that could maybe have a chance at being better than Sebastian.

xxx

They’ve been together for a while, and Rachel thoroughly approves of Blaine, to Kurt’s amusement. It’s a big shift from her saying, “Sebastian is bad for you, Kurt,” in her best condescending tone.

So, Kurt invites Blaine over to his apartment, with a shy smile, and Blaine looks surprised before nodding eagerly.

Sebastian’s there – Kurt forgot to warn him, and Sebastian barely even looks up from the TV when he remarks, uncaring, “K, how long do you think this one will last?”

Kurt mutters, “Asshole,” with a smile and Blaine just grins, good natured and says, “I’ll last as long as Kurt wants me to,” with a wink. Kurt’s blushing at that, and Sebastian glares at him, because he knows exactly what Blaine just implied.

Sebastian immediately hates him on the spot.

xxx

There’s a house party at Elliott’s everyone’s drinking, and maybe going too far.

Sebastian’s flirting hard with Kurt and Blaine sees it all. Kurt isn’t stopping him, not even a little bit. And Blaine can’t help but reach for another drink. Santana grabs his hand and says, “They’re best friends, Blaine.” Blaine nods in understanding.

He walks over to Kurt, grabs his hand. Kurt’s eyes shine with amusement, and he leans in to kiss him. Blaine doesn’t have to look at Sebastian to know that he’s glaring.

So Blaine pulls Kurt into the kitchen, maybe it’s a little rude, and maybe he should wait until he’s not drunk to do this, but at the same time, right now when he’s drunk is probably the _best_ time to do this.

Kurt’s confused, but has a slight mischievous glint in his eyes and Blaine knows what he’s expecting, they both get a little handsy when they’re drunk, but Blaine’s heart still hurts at the sight of the way Kurt and Sebastian looked so comfortable together. How they’re _clearly_ inevitable.

Blaine blurts out the words, “Why are you with me when you clearly like Sebastian? Am I just a huge joke to you?” and he doesn’t mean to sound so defensive, but he’s _hurt_ and drunk. He hates the way Kurt’s face falls, he hates that he caused it. Kurt mutters, “Blaine, I love you.”

Blaine’s heart hurts more, because maybe if they met before Kurt met Sebastian, or maybe if they knew each other in another life, they could be _so good_ together. Blaine can’t help but smile at the sentiment, can’t help but smile for a split second.

He knows that Kurt sees the smile, that he leans in to kiss him, but Blaine’s resolve doesn’t break, he continues, “I love you too, so _please_ be honest with me. You’re _in_ love with him, though, aren’t you?”

Kurt’s silence is all Blaine needs, and Blaine’s thankful that Kurt didn’t lie, didn’t try to save his feelings. Blaine smiles at Kurt, wipes the tears falling from his face, holds him close.

That’s the moment Sebastian chooses to walk into the kitchen, to grab a drink. He sees Blaine and Kurt holding each other and his heart breaks, he leaves the kitchen and the party without another word.

xxx

After Blaine breaks up with him, Kurt has had _enough._

Blaine was a great guy, they had so many similar interests, and they had _chemistry._ They were good together, but not good enough.

It’s the last straw, in Kurt’s mind. He’s let his feelings for Sebastian ruin too many things for him, he’s let them come in the way of so many.

So he resolves to stop, to stop everything between them, until he can finally get over Sebastian and _move on with his life._

Things don’t always work out the way Kurt wants though. (Except, what ends up happening is _exactly_ what Kurt wants.)

xxx

Sebastian hears Blaine’s stupid laugh in the living room as he walks into the apartment and he’s _over it._ Blaine’s lasted the longest with Kurt, and he’s actually _nice._ Kurt’s clearly enamored, because Blaine’s the kind of the guy that would bring flowers to every date and treat Kurt like a prince. It infuriates him.

Kurt’s face falls at the sight of him, and that hurts Sebastian more than anything. He hates that the sight of him alone ruins some stupid date he has with some stupid boy. So, he walks towards them, annoyed, and seethes, “I didn’t realize you were on a _date._ I’ll stay over at Hunter’s. Have fun,” and walks right back out. He doesn’t see Blaine’s confused expression, completely misses the way Kurt’s eyes begin to water.

When he gets to Hunter’s angry and grumbling, he realizes that he should have gone anywhere else, because Hunter is _not_ at all sensitive to his problems.

“So remind me why you’re letting your boyfriend date someone else?” Hunter asks, confused.

“He’s not my boyfriend.” Sebastian grumbles out, for the third time since he’s gotten here, downing the drink that Hunter placed in front of him.

“Wait, you guys broke up?” Hunter asks, even more confused, a hint of sadness in his voice. Sebastian wants to punch him.

“We were never dating!” He growls out, hands balled up in a fist.

“You sure? I mean you guys literally sit on each other’s laps. And have sex.” Hunter knows this first hand, because he’s walked in on it, many times. “Not to mention you guys live together.”

“That doesn’t mean we’re _dating.”_

“Well why aren’t you?”

“Because.” At this point, Sebastian’s not even sure he knows the answer to that question, anymore. Because Kurt keeps dating all these assholes and Sebastian isn’t cut out to be a boyfriend. Because.

But then, he thinks about how he knows Kurt’s favorite ice cream flavor and how his family spends the Christmas holidays with Kurt’s family and he thinks, maybe he has been Kurt’s boyfriend all this time and he didn’t even know it. Hunter probably notices the look of understanding on his face because he mutters, “You’re the biggest idiot I’ve ever met in my entire life.”

Sebastian doesn’t say anything in response and the conversation ends.

xxx

A few days later, Sebastian’s making dinner and asks, a little cruelly, “How’s grandpa doing?” as Kurt sketches at the dining table.

Kurt looks rightfully pissed and growls, “His name is _Blaine_. What the fuck is your problem?”

“I don’t have a problem. I just don’t think he’s good for you.” Sebastian mumbles back, adding spices to the rice.

“Well, Sebastian, I am _so_ glad you think that because we broke up weeks ago.” Kurt’s furious, furious that Sebastian thinks he has any right to say anything like that, to even insinuate that he knows what’s good for Kurt.

“Wait, what?” Sebastian asks, looking a little hurt. “But you never came to me.”

Kurt shrugs and says, “I wasn’t sad about it.”

Sebastian rolls his eyes, grumbles, “So? I still would have liked to know”

“Why?” Kurt asks, confused by Sebastian’s reaction.

“Isn’t that kind of our thing? I nurse you through break-ups?”

Kurt groans in frustration, because _of course,_ this is about _that,_ “Well like I said, I wasn’t sad about this one. So you had nothing _fix.”_

“That’s not what I meant!” Sebastian replies, defensive. He turns the stove off and storms his way into the dining room, where Kurt’s still sitting, arms crossed, sketch forgotten, furious.

“So you _didn’t_ want an excuse to have sex with me?”  

Sebastian’s shocked and mutters, “Well yes.” Kurt rolls his eyes, and Sebastian quickly adds, “But it’s not just about sex,” in a small voice.

Kurt doesn’t say anything for a moment, he’s silent because he doesn’t want to make a fool himself but he _needs_ clarification for this, he needs to know, so he asks, stunned, “Are you saying you want _more_ than sex? From _me?”_

Sebastian stares at him, mutters, “Depends on your answer.”

Kurt blushes, and decides that he might as well put himself completely on the line, so he whispers, “I think you know that my answer to that will always be yes.”

Sebastian pauses, because this was the last thing he expected Kurt to say, he expected laughter and maybe an eye roll. He sits down next to Kurt and asks, with a wry smile, “So are we boyfriends then?”

Kurt crawls into his lap and kisses him in response.

Sebastian pulls back, whispering against his lips, “Say it, please.”

Kurt whispers back, “We’re boyfriends.” He has a huge grin on his face, and Sebastian kisses him again, he _can_ now. Kurt pulls back and says, “I’ll have you know I don’t put out until the third date.”

Sebastian grins, whispers, “Yeah?” pulls Kurt fully against him, and says, “You sure there’s nothing that can convince you otherwise?” as he starts kissing along his neck.

Kurt moans in response, gripping at Sebastian’s shoulders, “You can try.”

xxx

Being boyfriends really isn’t that different from being best friends. Except now, when people tease them about being whipped, they can lean into each other and be as disgustingly in love as they want, because it’s _true_. Sebastian can kiss Kurt’s forehead in greeting, Kurt can cuddle into Sebastian’s side, without it being a question of “am I allowed?”

Plus, Sebastian finally gets introduced as the capital B Boyfriend to one Burt Hummel.

Except, it really isn’t as intense or exciting as Sebastian hopes.

When Kurt says the words, Burt just nods, “Finally. You guys staying for dinner?”

And that’s that.

Kurt laughs, and Sebastian’s a little disgruntled because he’s been waiting for this moment since they went to senior prom together.

So maybe he’s frowning a little when he’s washing the dishes after they’re done with dinner, because a small part of him wanted a big talk, like the one that Kurt got a few weeks ago when they did the whole “Meet-the- _Boyfriend”_ thing with his parents.

He wanted to say, “I love your son, Mr. Hummel. And I’d never do anything to hurt him.” He wanted to prove that he could be a good boyfriend, that he could say all the right things.

When they’re cuddled up on Kurt’s couch, he knows that he’s being petulant, but he just wanted things to be normal for them, he wanted Burt’s blessing. He whispers this to Kurt, and he’s a little hurt by how the way he gets laughed at.

“Bas, you know your parents didn’t give me any talk about your virtue, right? Claire was just asking me about that guacamole recipe she liked.”

“But, they said they wanted to talk to you alone.” Sebastian asks, confused.

“They were messing with you, idiot.” Kurt fondly replies. “Plus, you don’t really have any virtue left to protect, so.”

“Rude,” Sebastian pouts.

Kurt grins and tries to kiss him but Sebastian’s not about to let an attack on his integrity go just like that. Plus, it’s fun to make Kurt beg.

Kurt’s kissing Sebastian’s neck, when Burt walks in.

Burt grumbles and says, “I guess I should get used to this, huh?”

Sebastian tenses at the sound of Burt’s voice, because this whole proving himself as worthy for Kurt is really not going well. He shoves Kurt away and mumbles, “Sorry, sir. We’ll keep it PG.”

Burt looks amused at that, and Kurt hides his laughter behind his hand, his head resting on Sebastian’s shoulder.

“Son, I’m just glad you got your head out of your ass and stopped messing with Kurt.”

Sebastian looks shocked, and Burt eyes Kurt, a clear signal for him to leave them alone. Kurt rolls his eyes, kisses Sebastian on the cheek, whispers, “love you,” and turns to go upstairs to his room.

Sebastian’s hands feel clammy because he’s been waiting for this moment for so long, and he stares at Burt with wide eyes. The last thing he expects is for Burt to hand him a beer.

Burt rolls his eyes, and Sebastian kind of wants to grin because of what a _Kurt_ move that is, “Stop looking so scared. I’ve known you since you were a baby.”

“I know, I just…”

“You want to prove to me that you’re good for Kurt, right?” Sebastian nods, and Burt continues, “Here’s the thing; I already know that you are.” Burt pats his back for a second, and says, “Tell me about your internship.”

The approval came so quick Sebastian needs a second to breathe, but he grins nonetheless.

The fact that _Burt,_ the very Burt who gave Kurt’s high school boyfriend stink eye for 3 months straight, the same Burt who would grumble on the phone every time Kurt brought up a new guy, thinks that Sebastian is _good for Kurt_? Has known that for years? It’s the kind of approval that makes him feel like he’s won a race that he never even knew he was running in.

xxx

Rachel tells Kurt that she’s happy that everything worked out for him. Happy that they turned that deeply dysfunctional relationship into something so beautiful.

Kurt grins at her, and at the ring on his finger.

Sure, the wedding wasn’t _exactly_ like the one he’d been planning since he was six years old, but the only detail he ever really cared about, the _who_ of it all was the same. So there isn’t a single complaint coming out of his mouth, even if the flowers are the wrong color and they started a little later than expected.

He thanks Rachel, and turns to look for his _husband,_ he’s been itching to dance with Sebastian for hours, and, well, it’s his _wedding._

A perfect set up, really.


End file.
